Robert Breaks Down Breaking Dawn

**This is all in good fun and for the lolz**

"So it doesn't start so bad. Bella is whiny like usual but I basically just drown that out now. Plus I got her a missile proof car. She thinks its to keep her safe..."

"...but it was really just a way to bring the lolz for Jasper, Emmett and I."

"The wedding goes well...even a bit boring...but it was nice not to have to fight some evil vampire for a few hours...so I try to be a good husband and invite Bella's smelly dog best friend to cheer her up..."

"...but of course Fido has to go cause a big scene when he finds out I'm gonna tap that while she is still human even though SHES BEEN BEGGING ME TO DO HER FOR MONTHS and I mean, How much restraint is man supposed to have? I swear if I don't get some soon I'll choke a bitch..."

PLEASE go to Lion and Lamb and read the whole story...you won't be sorry it is LOL funny! This is only a sample..but DO read the whole thing: